PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
