What a fucking waste of an outfit
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
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I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
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Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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