Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
