Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
