I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
