i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize