I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
