all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
