So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
