Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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