shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
