did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
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