i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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