so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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