oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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