i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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