i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
