just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
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So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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