Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
