i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I just cut my nipple shaving
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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