You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
