dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
