Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
