he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Randomize
