I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I want a musical about memes.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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