If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
