3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
