no, he came in my armpit
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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