I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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