Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
