There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
