I'm jealous of your bromance
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
