We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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