That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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