Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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