Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
