You kept calling me your small dog last night.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
