haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
