I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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