problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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