i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
