Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
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