Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
