I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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