You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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