Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
