I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
