Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
