Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
