I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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