Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
