you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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