I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
