Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
