to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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