from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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