How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
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Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
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I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
i now understand why vodka
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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