I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
