Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Randomize
