Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
