Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I just gift wrapped bread.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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